Mike's Midweek Musings - Vol 2

M&M's, loneliness, and the salary survey!

Oct 26, 2023

Hi all,

Welcome to the second installment of “Mike’s Midweek Musings” - a Wednesday message of helpful advice and a laugh of two.

Last week’s email was one of the most read of all time. Turns out folks are willing to put up with me in their inboxes a bit more often. (I promise I won’t overstay my welcome).

We’ve got a few cool things this week.

Of utmost importance is the salary survey (see item #4 below). Thanks to everyone who voted last week. The consensus is that this would be helpful, so it’s on! Takes about 2-3 minutes. It’ll generate some truly useful data and I’ll send out the results in a few weeks. Thanks again so much for taking the time!

Five Things to Share This Week

Quick Hits:

Those first few years … another survey [10 sec]
Twelve Sources of Advantage [45 sec]
Trick or Treat. (I love you!) [20 sec]
Take the Salary Survey (C’mon … please) [2-3 min]

A Longer Read:

I’m Mister Lonely [2 min]

The Midweek Musings special ends tonight! Save $7 bucks now! That’s like 1.5 Pumpkin Spice Lattes!

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#1 Why is this so hard?

In the Longer Read below, we’ll talk about loneliness, especially for new leaders. So, I (and a few thousand other folks) would love to know …

#2 Are you willing to look like an idiot?

As I mentioned last week, I like taking concepts from outside of education and seeing what can be reapplied. Today’s idea comes from one of my favorite writers at the Farnam Street blog.

Now, nearly every administrator I’ve worked with has an above-average competitive streak. This doesn’t mean they have to try to beat the person next to them, it often means they’re simply trying to become the best version of themselves.

With that in mind, check out the ‘12 Sources of Advantage’ below. Pretty much a direct copy from FS.blog, Aug 20, 2023. And if you’re not the competitive type, I think you could easily call it “12 Sources of Growth.”

As you read, make a mental note of how many of these are within your control.

12 Sources of Advantage

Raw talent/intelligence - Some people are just naturally better and smarter.
Hard work - Some people work harder.
Differentiation - Seeing the world differently. Doing something different. Reading different books. Interpreting the same information differently. (This is my personal favorite).
Process/Discipline - Creating a process and following it.
Talent Collector - The ability to hire the best people and get the most out of them.
Energy - Only an advantage when mixed with integrity.
Curiosity (Another underrated one, IMO - although this guy agrees)
Patience - A lack of patience changes the outcome.
Ability to take pain - Are you willing to look like an idiot to get better? How much risk are you willing to take, AND, importantly, can you handle the losses?
Temperament - Keeping your head when everyone else is losing theirs.
Partner - Having the right partner - not only in business but, more importantly, in LIFE. The right partner will 10x your life. The wrong one will hold you back.
Luck

#3 Love those nem nems 😂 😂

#4 Survey says …

Here it is in all its magnificence! The Salary Survey! Get after it!

(Also, I asked David Frankin of The Principal’s Desk FB group if I could cross-post it to get a great sample size. This should be a valuable report for everyone. Also, consider signing up for David’s newsletter.)

Take the Survey

The survey will be open until November 5th. A full-report will be sent to all subscribers a couple weeks after.

The Longer Read (2 min)

#5 The tumbleweed goes rolling past

What seems like a million years ago, I was at an administrators-only happy hour during my first year as an AP. One of my colleagues had just been promoted to principal of a large high school in our district. He was obviously excited and more than a little nervours. Everyone was toasting to his future success.

Any specific accolades or pieces of advice from the group?

“Well, say goodbye to your marriage!” someone burst out. The whole table laughed nervously.

At that time and in that district, you were expected to give your allegiance to school and community above all else. For many, family was a distant second or third on the priority list.

(Of course, there were plenty of examples of folks who maintained good balance, but it was not an easy environment in which to take such a stand).

Sadly, this is a pretty common sentiment all over.

Lately, I hear a common refrain from more administrators nearing the end of their careers, especially post-pandemic: “This job has taken more from me and my family than I should have given. I have real regrets.”

I have a couple buddies who are medical doctors. They talk about their experience in med school residency with a mix of nostalgia and PTSD. Historically, it’s been a rite of passage to nearly kill yourself (while not killing your patients) as you work 100+ hour weeks to earn your stripes. The old guard is reluctant to change the level of expectation becasue, “I had to go through it - why shouldn’t you?”

I find that experienced administrators are more understanding and supportive of their proteges, but not always by a large margin. There can definitely be a “tough it out, kid” mentality. After all, everyone has to pay their dues, right?

I recently came across a great article by a current district administrator, Elizabeth Dampf. Appropriately titled, No One Ever Really Tells You How Lonely It Is, Dampf suggests a roadmap for change.

Her take is that seasoned administrators can help pave the way toward a less-isolating experience for new school leaders. No one is asking that it be easy, it’ll never be that. Conflict and challenge are hardwired into the job. But it should be less lonely.

And she’s got some great ideas.

If you have three minutes, you should read the entire article, but she recommends a few practical things that supervisors and mentors of new administrators should consider:

Model Vulnerability - New administrators are rarely going to wave the white flag to their superiors and yell, “Help! I’m slowly dying inside!” But they might open up more IF veteran leaders were more honest about how hard the first several years can be.
What to do: If you’re a veteran leader, talk about your own experience with isolation. Normalize talking about the struggle.
Support Boundary Setting - Nobody runs a marathon at their top speed. It’s unsustainable. And when young leaders (or any leaders) are expected to give everything to their jobs, they wind up cut off from their families, friends, and hobbies - the things that can be healthy outlets for all that stress.
What to do: If you supervise a new leader, take things off their plate. Reduce after school events, insist on limiting weekend contacts, and talk about your own boundaries and work/family balance.
Mentorship! - Young leaders need a mentor - one that they do not report to directly. The reflection and debriefing process is invaluable.
What to do: If you don’t have a mentor program in your district, start one … like yesterday! It doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective.
Rethink Incentives - Admin turnover these days is bonkers. And there’s a lot in the system that makes this worse. Considering contracts that run longer than a year, create a pipeline to promote internally, and incentivize loyalty.
What to do: This is a tougher overhaul than many supervisors can take on, but you can at least start the conversation with district administrators. Keep those new leaders fresh and happy with their school or district and students will see the benefit.

As I read the article, I wondered if more of my friends could’ve avoided the pitfalls of leadership burn-out.

Do you have any thoughts on how to support new leaders? Are you a young adminstrator with specific needs? Think some of this is unrealistic? Let me know!

Hey, Mike Alpert!